Gotta pick myself up, where do I start?
'Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart.

I think it's a girl thing to overthink. And you know it's so true when they say, 'overthinking leads to self-destruction'. I practically kill myself everyday thinking about all this at night. About him, about her, about them, about us. About you.

You can do better Sheryl, just wait.

2012

It's the second week of 2012 already, how time flies. I still can't get over 2011 seriously, it still feels like I'm 17 and I just stepped into TP..... And now, I'll be a Year 2 in another three months. Can't help feeling old and all. I know I'll always be a child at heart though, oh well #foreveryoung!! I AM 19 THIS YEAR, ARE YOU KIDDING ME. We Lanjays agreed that we still feel as though we haven't aged a day past 16. So yup, we decided that we're 16 now and we'll celebrate our 17th birthdays this year and then the cycle repeats next year, hehe forever seventeen sounds real good to me! ;) 

Hmm so the 'O' level results were released today. I know I'm far from that stage now but I still can't help thinking about what could have been and what I could have done better and regrets blablabla................ Even at dinner my mom was still nagging about how I could have done much better and now I would have already graduated and shit. "If only you worked for O's" "If only you studied and put in effort last year in TPJC." If only, if only. But I'm no longer in secondary school, nor am I a JC student. I am a poly kid and to be honest I still can't get used to that till now. I still feel out of place sometimes even till now. I feel weird because I'm older (I know it's just a year but still) and because I have a different experience. Sometimes, I can't help feeling that I'm being seen in a different light. And I know that I'm not performing up to standard still. I really need to pull up my socks. Have been saying that for the past... 6 years? I pray that it happens soon. It's now or never, seriously. This is my last shot.