Sooo, it's the holidays, and it's the night before I fly off...........
But I can't bring myself to put down everything here and enjoy this vacation. Sigh there's so much undone, so many things left unsaid.............
This year passed by so quickly, I can barely recall all the events and incidents. Everything's a blur. And amidst this confusion, I guess somehow, somewhere I lost myself. Maybe in my thoughts. Maybe because no one actually knows what I'm thinking. Because I've become so inward, and so closed and I've been building so many walls. I never used to toss and turn in my sleep, but now I do. And I can't seem to put my thoughts into words. Nor provide an explanation for my emotions. Or control my crankiness. Somehow, barely anything makes sense to me.
Am I doing and thinking too much? And saying too little? How do I convince others, when I can't even convince myself.
This is a pointless self-inflicted struggle. I need to build a bridge and get over it.
Slowly but surely.
Hoping hard that the year will end on a good note. Meanwhile, thankful for everyone and everything that's keeping me going. See you on the 27th.
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